Learning to Communi-date

I like to look at things and wonder who the first person was to try that. For instance, have you ever looked at a fruit and thought, wow, I wonder who the first person was to look at that green orb and think, I am going to eat you now. Or who was the first person to say to themselves, I am going to hang this piece of cloth around my neck and call it a tie? And I really want to know what the first shelter looked like. Was it built of mud, sticks, or palm leaves? And who was the genius who built his house on sand for the first time? Cuz ya know, someone did.

Well, regardless, I think we all feel like these “first timers” at some point during our dating. And with the added complexity of texting, Facebooking, and chatting, we all tread on new ground. I’ll go more in depth about that subject on a later date . . . ha ha, get it? Later DATE. Anyways.

I really do enjoy a good conversation. For me, a good conversation equals people that hold a common interest, which then leads into other interests. Have you ever stayed up late talking with a family member or friend and actually stopped and asked yourselves how you began a certain subject? It’s nearly impossible to trackdown how one subject morphed into another. Most likely, it lasted for hours. So, why is it that communication can be so difficult in dating?

Water ebbs and it flows. Guess what, communication does too. Here comes the engineering analogy . . . ya see, if we all went to our water faucet, turned it on, and no water came out, we’d be ticked. In dating, we seem to think communication is similar. If I can’t communicate with someone very well, that automatically means things can’t work out. Now, here’s the amazing part . . . the water that comes out of your faucet only reaches that tiny outlet because it was pumped there. A pump is an apparatus that uses some form of energy to hurtle water to great distances or heights, usually through a pipe. The reason you have water, is because A PUMP is churning and burning away. Off . . . On, Off . . . On, such is the life of a pump.


In a dating atmosphere; a good conversation seems to mean that there needs to be excitement, interest, and affection; however, communication ebbs and flows. The ability to communicate in the way that each of us wants, only comes with time and effort. A conversation “pump” takes time to install, and it takes effort. Did you ever wonder why it took man hundreds of years to figure out how to have constant running water? Expecting excellent communication, especially early on in dating, may be asking a lot. Especially from someone you hardly know, or even someone you’ve known for months. But to improve, I think we can all be patient with each other, seeking to actually get to know someone, and expecting some surprises. And for goodness sake, communicate "in person" as much as possible (Nate snickering about the text he just sent.)