Doldrums of Awkwardness

I can’t explain the problems of avid daters. The most common term I hear when two people struggle to connect is “awkward!”

Let me use imagery to explain: it’s the feeling you get when one has been on a boat all day long, tubing at 60 mph, or when a full day was spent riding roller coasters at Lagoon. You return home and lay your head on your plump pillow, only to discover that you cannot sleep. You still feel like you’re on the second loop of the Colossus. These sensations are comparable to awkward feelings.


You’ve been on a date, you like the person or you don’t, that doesn’t matter. You come home, a bit tired, and lay your head on your semi-firm pillow . . . the doldrums begin. You are now vividly aware of every awkward moment. Believe me, in reality you were probably awkward, but now that you’re on your pillow it seems to reverse osmosis back into your head. I would say, “Just sleep it off,” but here’s the worst part . . . the awkward doldrums linger, and here’s the next worse part . . . when you see this person again, you get the awkward aftershocks.

There were girls I wanted to connect with, one’s that I should’ve connected with, that I didn’t because it became awkward. I probably generate the same feelings in them. As the aftershocks continue, I decide I can never develop what I shall call “the relationship connection” with this person.

What I am explaining is when two people date and have awkward moments that prevent them from connecting more. Conversation stops, fun flees, and the drawl begins. Sometimes it happens because one or the other is interested, one of the daters is thinking of someone or something else, there is no interest by one or the other, or the dater becomes embarrassed. In my case, I “awkwardify” myself around people I really like. In fact, wonderful females tend to conjure up the most awkward sensations of my soul.

The doldrums, in actuality, are a sector of the earth known as an inter-tropical convergence zone, or the calm area where hurricanes originate. Due to unpredictable weather patterns, the Doldrums became notorious among sailors because of deadly periods of calm that trapped ships for days or weeks on end as they waited for wind. Let’s see past the doldrums and the awkwardness!


I believe that behind the most awkward of situations is found the most wonderful “island in the sun.” Give awkward dates and people the chance to be confident, and give them as many tries as they need. Be the one to put wind in another person’s sails. Most people will be awkward when they feel uncomfortable, so seek to bring comfort. And stay interested in them, focus on them. Don’t think about yourself and your awkwardness will dissipate too. Don’t let the hurricane form. This hurricane can rip the potential for a good relationship apart.